Fortune Cookies

Like many of you (I am guessing) when I get a fortune cookie the first thing I think is, I really don't want to eat this "cookie". Eventually I fall to cookie pressure, mostly because you have to break the thing open to get to the fun part. Also like many of you, I find fortunes to be fun, and usually funny after adding "in bed" to the end of the sentence. I don't know what the numbers on the back are supposed to be, Asian people are so weird about numbers I should pay more attention though that may be the secret to high achievement. (Take that Tiger Mom I said numbers on the back of fortunes, not preventing your kids from having sleepovers!)

Then this happened...

Justin and I had Chinese food late last year, sorry I am not Sheldon Cooper and can't give you the date, lets call it early December. There is always the question, which cookie do I want? You never want the fortune that doesn't make sense when you add in bed, and moving forward I need to know about those numbers, must create high achieving kids. Anyway, on this day we both read our fortunes and were shocked about what they said. (Context: Justin's dad passed away in November and the daily little reminders really were taking a toll. I was not helping matters with my constant engagement hints and wedding planning before ring, I was just trying to give us something to look forward to.)
Needless to say these fortunes have given us things to think about many times since. We placed them in the window above the kitchen sink along with the champagne cork we shared upon our official engagement! (and a few other champagne corks, I happen to be a Mimosa fan)
If you can't read them the fortune Justin got said: You will overcome difficult times. No matter how many times, or how many way I tried to be supportive of him in his difficult time sometimes random words from a cookie have more impact. Upon reading these words it almost clicked. While it was OK to be sad and grieving, and that void will never go away; he was going to overcome it! He has to right? the fortune said so. (And it has the key to our future children's take over of the world on the back, come on lucky numbers)
My fortune reads: A bold and dashing adventure is in your future. How right can two cookies be? Seriously the fake wedding planning is fun, the real stuff I could mostly do without, but I could describe wedding planning as a bold and dashing adventure.
I guess I am not your average girl when it comes to wedding. I didn't dream of this day as a girl. I didn't have a vision of a big fluffy dress and doting ladies at my side. I am uncomfortable with asking people to do things for me. Now don't read that and say, hey she has asked me to do something before. Sure I can say hey something needs to be done, do you mind doing that? What I mean is asking someone, Hey I want to spend a weekend trying on dresses and I want you to watch, you are going to have to fly, spend the night in a hotel, and eat out; see you there? Just typing that makes me feel anxiety about having asked people to do it. The worst part though is actually spending an entire day trying on dresses. Talk about exhaustion. I did have a great time with my great friends who insists they wanted to do this with me, and that they had fun. Thank you, both for showing up and lying to my face about wanting to do it!
One more thing that I have a hard time with in relation to wedding planning, related to the previous but a little different. I get offended when people tell me this is my day. The looks I get when I tell people it is not my day, it is a day to celebrate a relationship I have with Justin and we want to include our friends and family in that celebration, could confuse Sheldon Cooper... hmm bad comparison. They could confuse a person not easily confused. This is not "my day", I have no desire to have an entire day centered around me, music that only I like, food that only I like, the list could go on. I am doing my very best to think of my guests with every decision I make, and then I ask Justin if he thinks that works. If not, it is a no go. Those decisions, and they are plentiful, have been an adventure for sure. I am so thankful for all the help I have had in gathering information and I can't imagine feeling, truly feeling like all of these things were what I want only. Talk about pressure, I just hope that everyone likes the booze we provide and has fun dancing. Justin and I will remember the ceremony for the truly gigantic step it is everyone else just needs to have fun celebrating that with us!

The moral of this story, I don't have any idea other than keep those fortunes and figure out what the numbers mean.